Wednesday, October 1, 2008

My delay in posting- all for nothing! Grrrr....

So I know that I said I would be back with a long post explaining why I haven't posted lately, but that there was a reason and to expect a long post with that reason in the upcoming few days. Well, that didn't quite work out like I thought it would. Let me try to explain.

So I finished A Million Little Pieces on Friday night. Towards the end of it, I just could not put it down. It was a great book. If you can get past all of the brouhaha and drama about its authenticity, you should definitely read it. Because it was an amazing book. I read it in three days.

While I was reading this book, I received a phone call from my sister to let me know that a family member is in rehab. Eerie coincidence, huh? I was going to post a very long and very personal story about the family member, which would also mean I'd have to go into long detail about my family, which is very complicated and complex. I wrote it up and everything- it took me days to figure out what to say, how to say it, etc. It was extraordinarily personal, but that didn't bother me, because this is my personal blog, and I want to be honest and upfront about my life and who I am at all times. I read quite a few blogs whose writers are amazingly honest about their life experiences and struggles, and I applaud them for their bravery.

So I wrote something up and spent a while editing and fine-tuning it, and even posted it briefly and everything... but then I got extremely paranoid. Because I work for a very, very conservative company with a very conservative and highly regarded reputation, and I started to worry about what would happen if someone at my company stumbled across my blog somehow or our IT department came across it, and I'm not sure what our policy is regarding personal blogs that are available to the public. I don't think they care about ones that are set to "private", like myspace and whatnot. I never, EVER blog at work (I probably wouldn't even be able to; a lot of websites are blocked, like games, personal e-mail, myspace, etc.), but more importantly, I worry that someone I work with- be it a coworker or a member of executive management- would just stumble across it somehow and read extremely personal information that a very select few friends of mine know about. It's information so raw and personal, and I just don't need the people that I work with knowing about it... you know what I mean? Although I'm sure I'm worrying about it too much, I just can't help but think about the risk. I tried to make the post private, but I couldn't figure out a way to make the one post private without setting my entire blog to private, and I didn't want to do that. So I took it down. I saved it as a draft though, so I still have it.

So I will say that a family member in my immediate family is in rehab. This is their fourth stay in rehab for addiction to prescription painkillers and alcoholism. Several of my family members have struggled with various addictions, from this one to eating disorders to heroin, and some have gotten successfully treated and sober, some have not and continue to relapse. One refuses to acknowledge that they have a problem at all, and as a result has irreparably damaged many of her relationships with family members (including hers with me). I wish this person all the best in a recovery, but I'm also remaining cautious because I feel like I have gotten my hopes up too easily in the past, and it's always heartbreaking when they relapse. So I'm remaining cautiously optimistic for now.

Unfortunately, that's all I really feel comfortable saying in a public post, but if you have any questions or want to know anything else, please, feel free to e-mail me. I'm happy to answer any questions regarding this topic. Like I said, the only reason that I am not revealing more information is because I just worry about posting this information publicly and it somehow getting through to my place of employment. One should not have anything to do with the other, but I just don't feel comfortable taking the chance. I'm happy to answer any questions offline though!

Now, that being said, let's move on. Happy Wednesday!

So I DID start a new book- Admissions, by Nancy Lieberman:

DSCI0613 It's a fiction book about uber-rich New Yorkers trying to get their children into fancy elite private high schools in Manhattan, no matter what they have to do to get them in. Think a combination of The Nanny Diaries, The Devil Wears Prada, and Gossip Girl. It's great. The perfect mindless fluff book to read after coming down from a book like A Million Little Pieces. I'm about one-third of the way through already.

Well, that's enough rambling. I have just enough time to sneak a quick peek at some of your blogs, maybe have a little dessert, read a few pages, and hit the hay. :-) Work's going to be busy tomorrow, and not in a good way!


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